Tripping Overseas
by PanicButton
Summary: The BAU are sent to England for a consult.  Reid just doesn't seem to be having fun. Something a bit lighter for a change.  Please R&R thank you. Rated T for safety.
1. Chapter 1

Tripping Overseas

_Tupelo Twang once said – Shit…the water is cold!_

**A/N Criminal Minds belongs to Mr Big…not me. Setting this in England so I know what I am talking about for a change. Thanks.**

The whole team had been sent overseas on a consult. This meant a long flight, and it also meant that they took a standard flight to London, England, and not their comfy little jet.

Hotchner and Gideon were travelling business class, and they actually slept for most of the journey. JJ, Prentiss, and Garcia, had fluttered eyelashes and when that didn't work fluttered FBI badges and demanded good seats.

Morgan spent the flight flirting with the flight attendants and getting an awful lot of attention in return.

Reid was in economy. He was squashed between a man with an interesting smell about him, which just seemed to get stronger, and a rather large chested woman who fell asleep with her head face down on Reid's lap. He prodded her gently a couple of times, but she just muttered something and snuggled in deeper into Reid' lap and wrapped her arms around him. He half heartedly attempted to pull her arms away, but she just held on tighter and snuggled deeper, so he left her alone.

For some it was a good flight. For one it was the flight from hell.

There wasn't enough leg room. For someone with long legs this starts to get very uncomfortable. The person in the chair behind Reid was an eight year old boy, and spent the flight kicking the back of his chair. Reid tried to distract himself with reading the sick bag, and the other bits that had been left to read in the pouch in front of him. It took about 3 seconds to read the lot. He attempted to get up and get his hand luggage from the compartment above his head, but Miss Large-Chest wouldn't let go of him, and the more Reid wiggled the more she did. So he sat and counted the pattern of dots on the back of the chair and tried to stay very still.

This was OK until she started to dream, and Reid didn't know what the dream was about, but it was making him squirm even more.

"Excuse me Miss, do you mind not doing that?!" He yelped, but she carried on tossing and turning in her sleep and making odd muffling snuffling noises.

A head popped up from the seat in front of him.

"Geez man, do you have to do that here?"

"What? Oh no…no…its not…no…she's dreaming. I don't even – I don't know her."

"Well dude, I think when she realises what you look like she will pretend she don't know you either. That's a nightmare boy, not a dream."

Reid's face was scarlet and his glasses steamed up, but he still couldn't rouse her from her sleep, and the man sitting the other side, broke wind.

………………………………

They finally landed in England, and when the woman woke up she stared and Reid and slapped him around the face

"How dare you take advantage of me whilst I slept. You dirty pervert!"

And Reid was so shocked that he didn't say anything.

The arrival in England was uneventful. Unless you were Dr. Reid. It seemed that his luggage had been misplaced somewhere, and when he showed his passport at customs they leapt on him and dragged him off to a room on his own, and left him there for three hours while security argued with Hotch

"I don't give a fiddlers fart who the hell you are Mr Suit. That name was on our alert list and we will deal with it."

"But………"

"No buts or ifs and put that bloody badge away." And security walked off leaving the other agents looked dumbfounded. No one talked to them like that.

They offered Reid coffee. It was instant. It was sweet. That's about all you could say of it really. The only reason he could possibly be here would be because of that stupid woman on the flight, so when security came in to talk to him he burst into vocal action.

"I didn't d, d, do anything! She was – she was just there, in in in my lap. What was I meant to do about it? She seemed happy enough." His hands were twisting in his lap and his face look wide eyed. His voice had risen in a panicked pitch.

"Who are you talking about Dr?"

"The girl on the p p plane. Really I didn't do anything, she was, you know…it was a dream!"

Reid took his wallet out of his pocket. He should maybe have warned the blokes that he was going to do something. They were already jumpy and waiting for the little American speccie pervert to do or say something to dig himself a bigger hole. They leapt on him so hard and fast that Reid was knocked out of his chair and his wallet flew across the room.

"Move and I will hurt you so bad."

Said a big man towering above the prone Reid with a police batten in his hand. Another bloke picked up the wallet and opened it. It was his FBI ID.

"And this?" Enquired the officer. "What the hell is this?"

"My ID." Muttered Reid.

After a few murmerings in the corner the wallet was thrown at Reid and he was dragged to his feet.

"You can go, oh and Welcome to England."

As Reid opened the door to leave he was happily informed. "By the way, we have just heard. Your luggage is in Thailand."

….

They now had to make their way from London Heathrow airport to a place called Brighton, which was a seaside resort on the south coast of England. Garcia was scanning a map which Reid snatched out of her hands.

"Hey snatchy!" she said "We are all jet lagged…take a chill pill."

"I just want to get there. I am tired and frustrated and……………………." And a shout from nearby stopped him mid track

"Hey girls, stay away from him. I sat by him on the flight. He's a dirty pervert!" and just to drill the point home further she strode over and slapped him again with a follow up kick to the left shin.

Reid just stood and let the map fall from his hands, and closed his eyes. "Please guys, can we just you know – go?"

…………..


	2. Chapter 2 The Journey South

The Journey South

They had to travel in separate cars, and the taxi drivers in both were not happy about driving all the way to Brighton, and were equally unimpressed with Morgan's FBI badge and big man strut, when they were told how much it would cost. The journey would take 2 hours tops on a good day with no traffic or road works, or accidents, or rubber neckers, or cattle on the road, or the escaped horses, or the melted tarmac at junction 10, where they finally pulled off the road to hell and swerved and bumped around the traffic lights and roundabouts of semi rural Surrey.

And it was around about now that Reid had that big need to erm – you know – go.

"Can we stop somewhere? This two hour journey has already taken us four. I really need to get out of the car and erm…..."

Reid was sharing his car with Garcia, JJ, and Prentiss. How had had got stuck with an eternal car trip with three nattering women was beyond him, but now he just needed to get out of the car.

"Can't stop here mate. I will get in trouble. Just down here is a lay by and somewhere to get a coffee and bun or something. Will that do you? Five more minutes."

And so that is what they planned. Obviously the five minutes took much longer because of the works on the bridge, and the escaping sheep, and the broken down tractor, but eventually they made it to a small truck selling something vile, and nasty watery coffee.

"JJ, get me a coffee. Five Sugars please." Shouted Reid as he legged it into the undergrowth towards a small winding path which would take him over the incline and out of site of the road.

The taxi driver stood and watched him "Where the hell is the geek running off to? He does realise that isn't a…………….."

With a "gwumph" and a big splash Reid disappeared into the small drainage stream he had thought was a path. He stood waist deep and just stared ahead.

The screams of laughter from behind him let him know for sure that he had been seen, and the clicks from the camera phones let him know that the rest of the team in the other car will see too.

"Nice. Just stand there laughing. Don't bother to help me out will you?"

But if any help had been forthcoming it was stopped when the taxi driver said "Well he can't get back in the car now." The girls were beside themselves with howling laughter.

Trying to be helpful the driver commented that it was in a way fortunate that they all had luggage, as at least he had something he could change into. Obviously this caused even more hysteria from the girls.

"It's OK sweetcheeks, you can borrow something of mine." Garcia said, as Reid finally hauled his way out of the water.

Dripping wet and cold Reid stood and made a puddle in the lay by. "Did you get me a coffee?" he asked. But they hadn't and the van was closed for the night now. Oh how Spencer loved England!

Blinding fortune was upon Reid that Prentiss had packed a pair of knee length pink flowery shorts, and that Garcia had packed an orange t-shirt with Blonde But Not Stupid written on it in fuzzy green lettering. Yes it was fortunate indeed. They then chased him around the lay by trying to get his wet clothes off him, while the taxi driver stood and watched and checked the meter.

Back in the car at last. Out of sight of other travellers staring at the weirdo. Reid was tired and thirsty and more than a bit embarrassed at the situation he was now in. He sat in between Garcia and JJ with Prentiss sitting in the front. He was soon snoring gently as the motion of the car along the bumpy main road rocked him to sleep. He therefore had no idea that Garcia had put his hair in bunches for him, and that more pictures had been taken.

"Oh sweet joy" Garcia grinned. "I won't even have to photoshop these."

…………………………….


	3. Chapter 3 Life Aquatic

Life Aquatic

Spencer woke up when they finally pulled up outside the Valentine Hotel. Obviously pictures had been sent and everyone had been informed of the state of their youngest. Unfortunately Reid had totally forgotten about his attire and had no clue about his hair, so when Garcia dragged him from the car, the applause was at first puzzling and then just straight forward humiliating.

"Thank you so much ladies." He said standing there in barefoot in women's clothing and bunches. "I will of course get you back for this." He then looked towards Morgan. "I don't suppose you have any spare……."

"Hey buddy, don't even go there. Garcia will so hurt me if I lend you clothes."

It was late and time to go to their rooms. The blokes had already signed in, and the girls trotted in and collected their keys. Reid followed them in and went to reception.

"Dr Reid."

"Where?"

"I am Dr Reid."

"Well that's nice for you. What do you want?"

"I have a room booked."

The woman with the smart mouth behind the desk tapped on the computer keys. Reid looked around but the others had already gone up to their rooms. He could hear the girls giggling slowly getting further away.

"We have no one with that name registered Dr."

"I am with the party for the conference."

"Nice. But you are not booked to stay here."

"I am."

"No Dr. or whatever you call yourself, you are not booked here."

Reid looked puzzled for a second before pulling the computer monitor around so he could look.

"Hey, get your hands off! Security!" she shouted.

Reid pushed the monitor back quickly "Oh sorry, I just, I just"

"You just best get out of here." Said an extremely large man with a huge shiny head.

"But I….."

and he was man handled out of the front doors of the small hotel.

"There is a YMCA if you need a room. Stay away from here weirdo."

And Reid stood there in his bunches and pink shorts and his blond but not stupid t-shirt wondering what to do next.

Idea! Phone Hotch, but all his personal stuff had been taken by the girls and put safely away. In the boot of the taxi which obviously by now had started its journey back to London.

Pulling the elastic bands and grips out of his hair he started to walk to down the road looking for somewhere to call Hotch from. He was very aware that people were staring at him, and some people looking at him in a way which made him feel very uncomfortable. He even got winked at by some guys with big moustaches and tight leather trousers. He waved back at them, not quite knowing what to do.

Reid decided to walk down to the sea front. He could hear the sea lapping on the shore. It sounded good, and the smell coming off the sea was sharp and salty. He needed to investigate. The beach was made up of large pebbles, and walking barefoot on them wasn't the most comfortable thing he had ever done, but as he began to see the sea twinkling in the moonlight he walked further to have a little paddle while he thought. And his mind drifted back to when he was a child and his dad had bought him an inflatable paddling pool for the back yard, and how excited he had been, and how he and his mum had played pirates in it for hours talking in silly pirate accents. So with these happy thoughts Reid meandered down the beach, unaware of the small group of youths following him.

He was steamed. The youths ran and knocked Reid flying. He landed half in the sea with an umph, and was for the second time that day wet. Very wet and very cold. He was then dragged back onto the stones and the muggers searched him for phone or money, but having neither they ran off again…lobbing a few fist sized pebbles at him on the way. Off to look for someone with something worth pinching. They had however managed to rip the t-shirt and pull his shorts down to his knees. Something he very quickly rectified. Then he stood with his feet in the cold water shivering and wondering why this was happening, and why this sort of thing never happened to Hotch or Morgan.

Back up on the promenade was a row of seats. Reid, tired, hungry and in need of some comfort sat and shivered some more, but this really wasn't the place to stay for the night, as he was only too aware of the women of the night, and even more worrying the rent boys walking up and down selling their wares. He really needed to find somewhere to hide out until he was at least dry, or until the morning. Which ever came first.

He started to make his way to the Pier. It was closed, but under the pier looked like a good place to hold up. So once again with his mind a million miles away, back in his bed at home where he was safe and warm and dry, he didn't see the steps going down to Sea World. He felt them. Step after concrete step, and the landing knocked his breath out of him. So he decided to stay. Stay here until morning. Apart from the fact that it felt like he had broken his back he seemed OK.

"You can't stay there."

A voice he decided to ignore. He was going to stay.

"Get up and come here."

He ignored it.

"You, down there, get your scrawny arse up here now."

OK maybe he should do as he was asked, so slowly he turned his head to see who was talking to him. It was 2 police officers standing hands ready at sticks.

"I I fell." Stuttered Reid

"I I I don't care." Said the big dark skinned officer. "Just get up here now."

So carefully Reid pulled his dripping self up and half crawled half squelched back up the stairs.

"Been drinking?" One of them asked.

"Erm no, I only just got here. There was a problem with my luggage, and………………."

"Ah so you are not English." Bright these Brighton and Hove Policemen. Good at spotting an accent.

"No, I'm erm here on a erm consult."

"You what? Over here and show me your ID. Did you swim over?" and now they were both laughing. "I think you had better come with us to the station."

Reid stood there. His clothes sticking to him making him look skinnier than he was, if that's possible.

"Oh no, it's OK. I will be OK."

"Passport?"

"Not on me."

"Where?"

Reid stood and slowly shook his head because now he really didn't remember where it was. So he did the only thing he could think of and tried to run. He didn't get far. One officer tripped him up and the other had his hands behind his back and cuffed before he could blink.

And so Spencer Reid spent his first night on English soil in a dirty station cell along with a drunken biker, a druggy with bowel problems, and a bloke in a ridiculously tight pair of white jeans.

The biker blacked Reid's eye because he didn't like him shouting,

"I am with the FBI, you can't do this!"

The Druggy spat on him because his shorts were giving him a headache.

The bloke in the white jeans spent the night flirting with him.

Reid didn't sleep.

And somewhere in a nice hotel lounge Hotchner was saying "Anyone seen Reid?"


	4. Chapter 4 Breakfast

Breakfast

Disclaimer: Criminal Minds isn't mine.

The team looked for Reid. They tried to find out what room he was in, but the snotty Brighton clone said he wasn't registered with them and was he really a doctor, and "wow, blimey, wouldnt've know would ya?" and many other things which Morgan and Gideon didn't understand. They tried to phone him, but unknown to them his phone was merrily ringing in the boot of the taxi somewhere in Surrey.

He seemed to have just disappeared.

Morning found Reid dry and a bit crispy from the salt water. His back still hurt from the fall down the stairs, his feet still hurt from walking on the beach and his eye hurt from the thumping he took from the big geezer, but any swelling had completely gone. Now his brain hurt too from having to fend off Mr White Jeans all night.

Gradually they were all let out. Reid was the last to go, as he had been the last to arrive. White Jeans pounced and kissed Reid fully smack on the mouth before he left, which caused Reid to spend the next half hour spitting and gagging next to the toilet. Finally the policeman came to get him.

"Sleep well?"

"No."

"You need to sign some paperwork before we let you go."

"Fine, but I need to be quick. I am a guest speaker today, and I need to make a phone call."

"You are not from around here are you." Stated the policeman

"Vegas." Said Reid.

"You get lost?" and there was a snort of laughter from behind the desk.

Reid closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I arrived in the country yesterday. I have lost my luggage. I don't know where my phone is. I am thirsty and hungry, and I just want to meet up with my team and change my clothes. If that is OK with you."

The slightly snotty tone Reid took was received with more snorts of laughter and some raised eyebrows.

"Your team huh?" and lots of guffaws.

"I am with – I am with the FBI – erm – BAU – the behavioural analysis unit. I am a p p profiler."

A polystyrene mug was plopped on the counter in front of him.

"Here calm down, and have a coffee."

He picked it up and sniffed it. "Do you have sugar?" and he proceeded to rip and pour eight packs of sugar into the grey watery drink they called coffee.

"D d do you have anything I could erm eat?" He asked.

"Yes Sir, Mr Profiler, we are also the local café."

"Dr Profiler." He mumbled, as he turned to leave with his too hot sweet drink in his hand.

"Here you can have this." And one of the officers chucked something at him which he caught, grinned at and he nodded a thanks to the officer.

"Thank you!" And Reid walked happily from the station clutching a drink and a fruit rollup.

…………..

He was feeling a lot happier now that he has sugar rushing through his system and the lovely taste of strawberries in his mouth. It was a sunny morning, and all he would have to do now was make his way back to The Valentine and find the guys. He walked back down the promenade people watching and doing mini profiles on them. He decided to just sit on a bench and take in the smells and sights of the English seaside resort for ten minutes while his coffee cooled down enough to drink.

"Excuse me."

A voice coming from in front of him.

"Yes?"

"I wonder if you can help me."

"Well I am a bit busy."

"Yes I can see, and I wouldn't ask but you look so right for what I need."

"For what – for wwwhat you nnneed?" he stuttered getting flustered and alarmed.

"I just need to borrow your body for a minute or two. I will pay you of course."

"Borrow my what?"

"For some quick photos down by the pier. The model didn't turn up, but you look just right. If you don't mind, and I will pay your full day's rate."

……

Meantime the team are frantically searching for Reid.

Hotch got Garcia to arrange a trace on Reid's phone.

JJ phoned the local hospital, but there didn't seem to be anyone fitting his description there and Morgan contacted the local police. He made his way down there and must have arrived shortly after Reid left. Emily joined him.

"Can I help you?"

"FBI." And the flash of a badge followed the raising of eyebrows and laughing from the local cops.

"Not another one! Its gay pride march next week mate. You are a week early."

"What?"

"Next week. You another lad from Vegas?" More laughing

"What?!" pounding fist on desk.

Emily stepped in.

"Excuse me. We are over here on a consult from America. We have lost a friend, a Dr Reid……………………"

"Are you serious?"

"Very."

"The guy in woman's clothing is a friend of yours?"

"Yes, was he here?"

"He spent the night here lady, he has gone now. He said he was looking for his team, or something."

"Damnit!" Derek shouted and banged his fist again.

"Enough of that yank. Your colourful buddy isn't here."

So with a huff they left and decided to retrace their steps back to The Valentine. Reid knew that was where they were. Why he had wandered off on his own they didn't know, but if there didn't find him soon they would all be late for the morning meeting.

They almost missed him. If it hadn't been for the gathering crowd and Morgan and Prentiss' nosey ways they might have missed him altogether. At first it wasn't clear just what they were watching. Some kind of modelling shoot for a fancy mag they assumed, but their eyes kept being drawn to the tall slim male model posing with half dressed women all over him. He was wearing what looked to be a very expensive suit. A black frock coat with white shirt and lose bow tie. He was looking down, and a mass of slightly wavy hair covered his face, one arm around a scantily dressed woman the other in his trouser pocket. It was when he looked up that Emily and Derek gasped.

"Reid! What the hell?" Shouted Morgan.

"Oh my god, he is lovely" gasped Prentiss

"That's Reid!"

"Yes! He is gorgeous!"

"But it's Reid!"

Morgan couldn't believe what he was seeing.

Reid called over to them.

"Just give me five minutes ok?" and he returned to his posing.


	5. Chapter 5 The Model Agent

The Model Agent

**A/N sorry really short chapter this time**

Disclaimer: Criminal Minds belongs to someone else. 

Prentiss and Morgan just stood watching this strange scene with their mouths slightly open.

"Morgan, I just would never have seen that. I didn't know. Who would have guessed what was under those cords?"

"Urem."

"That is definitely Reid, yes?"

"Err, yes."

"And he is definitely looking as good as I am thinking he does?"

"Well probably better."

And they just stood and watched Reid bubbling with a confidence they had never seen before posing one shot after the other to perfection. He finally pulled himself away from the girls and approached a young snappy looking woman who had been directing the shoot. They shook hands and exchanged a few words. She nodded and they parted. Reid came over to join Morgan and Prentiss.

"What the hell was that all about and why have you got those clothes on?" enquired Morgan.

Reid shrugged. "Purely a matter of survival Morgan, I had no clothes, no money, and a good offer, so I took it. The suit is my payment for the shoot."

"But Reid, you looked so comfortable doing that." Emily was still staring at the wonderful image before her.

"It was easy. I didn't have to talk." And Reid smiled and walked back towards The Valentine with Morgan and Prentiss in tow.

…..

Gideon didn't recognise the young good looking guy who entered the hotel lounge and plonked himself down in front of him.

"Sorry if I am late. I got – I got held up." He said, and Gideon looked at Reid's hands expecting them to be twisting in his lap.

"Reid!" Exclaimed Gideon, then calmer, taking in what was before him "Reid, no you're not late. What are you wearing? Where have you been? Why aren't you answering your phone?"

Reid leaned back comfortably into the big soft chair and put his hands behind his head, and crossed his legs. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you Jason."

Gideon's eyebrows did a tiny almost unseen leap up into his hairline as he studied the young man before him.

Prentiss sat down on the lounge couch next to Gideon and continued to ogle Reid in a very obvious way. Morgan just stood staring, still not able to adjust to the sudden change.

JJ walked into the hotel lounge with a big sigh "He's still not answering his phone. It's going straight to voicemail." She had a worried pitch to her voice.

Morgan touched her gently on the arm and nodded to Reid. "We found him JJ. He's erm….fine."

JJ did a double take…then repeated it. "Reid? Reid! Oh!"

And he glanced her way and gave a coy half smile. Prentiss was glazed over watching every move he made and recording it for later replay when she was alone.

Hotch marched quickly into the room. "You found him? Reid?" and he stopped and stared.

"What is wrong with everyone today?" Reid asked. "You are acting like I have been missing for weeks. It was only one night. One interesting night, and one I don't want to repeat, but only one nevertheless."

Then they all started talking at once. Except for Prentiss who was still unable to do anything but stare at what she could only describe as a god.


	6. Chapter 6 The God

The god

Disclaimer: CM does not belong to me.

Reid was totally unaware of the effect he was having on the people around him.

He didn't see JJ tread very hard 'accidentally' on Prentiss' foot, and grind in her heal.

He failed to spot the looks between Hotch and Morgan, and he definitely didn't notice the sideways glances he was getting from Gideon.

Garcia though. He noticed Garcia's odd behaviour.

"Garcia what's wrong?" he eventually asked after he noticed her pushing Emily out of the way for about the 10th time.

"What?! Wrong? Nothing sweetness. Nothing. Come sit next to me."

"Well Garcia I need to go to the consult."

"Oh well when you get back. Sit next to me OK honey?" and she patted the small area next to her which even Reid would have to squish in to fit.

Reid raised his eyebrow a little and gave a hardly perceptible nod. So with a flick of his soft wavy hair he left the hotel following the rest of the team.

The rest of the day went in a weird jump of sitting talking to police officers to being virtually mobbed by teenage girls who thought he must be someone famous. Actually it wasn't virtual. He was mobbed. One pretty redhead was even hanging off his leg until Morgan pulled her away to cries of,

"I want you to be my baby's father!"

She was swiftly replaced by a brunette who announced

"I just want to touch him!"

Reid was feeling a bit like the new messiah when he got back to the hotel that evening only to have Garcia launch herself at him.

"Garcia, I really need to go and change my clothes."

A statement which received a cry of

"NO!"

from all the ladies present (and one of the men who shall remain nameless for now). Except for Emily who was bent over having just 'accidentally' got an elbow in her stomach from JJ.

So with a nervous smile Reid finally sat down next to a rather smug looking Garcia. It must be said that Morgan was feeling a bit put out by all of this fuss. After all he was still just Reid. Spencer. Not a new person. Just a new suit.

They drank beer and listened to the cabaret, and some guests even danced but Reid was tired and needed his sleep, so after a few pints of something a bit too strong he meandered his way back to the lobby before realising he still didn't have a room for the night.

"It's ok Reid I have two twin beds in my room, so we can………………….." rest was unfinished as Garcia pushed Prentiss out of the way.

"Reid babe, me too. You can have my spare bed."

"No Spence, share with me." Said JJ

"Spencer, I mean Reid. With me."

And so Reid followed Hotch up to his room leaving the sounds of disappointment behind him.

"Hotch, I really don't understand what is going on."

Hotch grinned. His whole face grinned, even his hair seemed to smile.

"Don't worry about them Reid. We are going home again tomorrow. Things will get back to normal."

There is not much Reid doesn't look good in, and a towel is one of them. After a nice hot bath with lots of vanilla bubbles, Reid wrapped himself in a big white fluffy towel and went back to the room he was sharing with Hotch. The older agent and taken the discarded clothes and folded them and hung them. Then still grinning Hotch went for a long shower.

There was a gentle tap on the door, and Reid still feeling the confidence the suit gave him opened it without checking to see who was there.

It was Garcia. Reid stood in his fluffy towel, and Garcia stood there with her mouth open.

"Oh, erm…Spencer sweety. We just found your luggage. It's being sent down. It wasn't in Thailand, it was just missed its flight."

"Thank you for letting me know Garcia. You could have called. You didn't need to walk all the way from the other side of the corridor to let me know."

"But sweetness, I would never have seen you in a towel if I had called."

And Reid blushed a deep scarlet and remembering who it was he was talking to held on tighter to his towel, and gently closed the door.

"Ready for bed Spencer?" called out Hotch

"Erm yes sir, I suppose I am."

And Reid slept the sleep of a thousand happy god like bunnies.

…..


	7. Chapter 7 The Journey Home

The Journey Home

_Derek Morgan once said: There is no way I am flying economy!_

Disclaimer: Criminal Minds belongs to some bloke.

Reid awoke in the morning to the sounds of the shower. Hotch was singing. It was with sudden shock that Reid realised he was laying on his back in bed with the bedclothes kicked off and around his ankles. One leg dangled to the floor and his arms splayed up in a very dramatic pose and his hair ruffled all over the place. My god, had Hotch seen him laying here like this? Thankful for small mercies he did have silk Halloween boxers on. (black with orange pumpkins) which he had purloined from the shoot yesterday. He quickly pulled the sheets up around him again as Hotch walked back into the room, hair dripping and a towel around his waist.

"Oh good, awake at last." And that grin on Hotch's face told Reid that he didn't want to ask any questions. "Shower quickly. We need to leave soon."

"Oh yes, erm. Garcia, she said, er, she said about my luggage arriving."

"Yes, but it's loaded ready to go."

"I I erm…I need, Hotch, I need my clothes." And Reid could feel his face getting hot with embarrassment.

"It's OK Reid you have the suit from yesterday. Now hurry and shower. We have a flight to catch."

So Reid took a quick shower rather than his preferred soak in the bath and slipped back into the new suit he got as payment for his modelling work the day before. He wet his comb and flattened his hair and scraped it behind his ears. Then he stood and looked in the mirror. Somehow his hair just didn't look right like that, so he pulled it back from behind his ears and fluffed up his waves a bit. Checking he had no toothpaste where it shouldn't be he left the bathroom happy.

"Reid." Said Hotch.

"Hotch?" Said Reid.

"Just checking that it was you."

And Reid turned scarlet and quickly left the room. He didn't get far as Emily was just leaving her room and she stood in the corridor staring at Reid, who made a quick retreat back to his room to check for toothpaste again. Then followed Hotch back out only too see a huddle of female comrades elbowing and pushing their way down the corridor towards them.

"Run." Whispered Hotch and gave Reid a gentle push in the back.

Well it is well documented. No one had ever failed to realise. Reid was not the most co-ordinated person on the planet when in a panic. It is also well documented that he is not the fastest classiest runner in the FBI. The gaggle or women stopped fighting and Hotch just stood and watched as Reid hurtled down the corridor in his own unique style.

"That was so cruel." Garcia moaned.

"What's wrong?" enquired Hotch.

"You broke my dream. That is still definitely Reid."

…..

Hotch made sure that Reid was in the same car as himself going home. The look of fear on Reid's face when Garcia asked if he wanted to share the backseat with her and JJ was priceless. Prentiss didn't get a look in. She was manhandled into the front seat with protests of "But" and "Oh" and was ignored.

It was a much nicer journey home. Reid had remembered to go before they left, and he had a flask of hot coffee. Gideon sat in the front and chatted on and off with the driver about the English countryside and Reid sat between Hotch and Morgan in the back.

"You know I really don't understand what's got into the girls today." Reid commented.

"Reid man, its just they have never seen you dress like anything other than a college student. They will get over it."

"I I dd don't dress like a college s student. Do I?" No one bothered to answer. "What's so bad in the way I dress?"

"Nothing Reid, nothing." And Morgan turned and looked out of the side window grinning.

They arrived at the airport with little trouble. The roads had been much clearer and the sun was shining. They had even received a message that the original taxi driver had handed Reid's lost phone and soggy cords over at the airport and they were being kept in security for him. All was bright. All was happy, and Reid left the cab in a good mood, and walked brightly ahead or Morgan, Hotch and Gideon, feeling a confidence he only usually felt when spouting useful information at people.

Then it happened.

At first he wasn't sure what was happening and he turned quickly to see who it was behind him that this crowd of teenagers were running to. He spun around again as the first one reached him.

"Are you Spence?" she asked?

"I erm. I beg your pardon?"

"Are you Spence. This Spence?" And the girl waggled a glossy magazine under his nose. On the front were some shots he had done only the day before in Brighton.

"Well yes I suppose I am."

"Oh I knew it! I knew it wasn't a trick!"

"erm?" and Hotch and Gideon were trying to drag Reid away while Morgan stood as a shield between the girls and Reid. " No Hotch…stop stop. What do they want?"

But Reid was being propelled through the airport quicker than he could blink. Once in a secure area which Morgan had gained access to by waving his badge, they all sat down and looked at the magazine JJ was clutching. Prentiss limped over to a chair and rubbed her shin, and Garcia sat down and nursed her toes.

**Fresh new face. Vegas FBI agent models exclusively for TeenVogueUK. See him tomorrow at Heathrow Airport. Show him your support. Hottest new comer for decades!**

It was followed by dozens of very nice shots of Reid.

He just sat with his mouth open. "I didn't erm…I did…but you know…I wasn't given an option. I didn't know….oh." And his face glowed red as he sat looking at his hands twisting in his lap. "How long until the flight? I really erm you know…want to go home."

Nothing is ever straight forwards. If it was, life would become very boring very quickly.

Seats had all been reserved in the wrong places. The girls happy to waggle badges and eyelashes again were quickly given good seats. Gideon accepted his lot and sat between a shower curtain hook salesman and a spoon salesman. He chatted happily with them for most of the flight about different places they had been to and different birds they had seen.

Morgan had a mini tantrum "There is no way I am flying economy!" he was shouting before they threatened to throw him off the plane.

Hotch had a quiet word with crew, and waggled the magazine in their faces. He and Reid flew home first class.

"So Reid," Hotch asked during the flight. "How are you finding all this adoration?"

"Actually Hotch it makes me feel very uncomfortable. I will be glad to get back into my normal clothes."

"You do realise it will make no difference now don't you? You can't fool Garcia."

Reid smiled, lay back on his seat and had happy dreams.

And Hotch sent the pictures of the sleeping Reid he had taken with his phone that morning to Morgan.

….

end


End file.
